Why, you may ask, is self-acceptance more important than self-improvement? And what, exactly, is the problem with self-improvement? Or, like me the first time I saw this phrase, perhaps you’re asking if self-acceptance isn’t part of self-improvement? Well, you wouldn’t be wrong.
Here’s the thing, for me the difference is that self-improvement, even though it sounds like it’s for us, is generally based on external information; cultural, family, societal expectations. The idea that we all would be better off if we fit into a narrow expectation of what is ‘normal’ in our society. This can also be veiled in what is ‘healthy’ and ‘natural’ but is usually picking certain facts over others and keeps us unsatisfied with our lives as it’s unattainable. Not that you can’t improve yourself but there will always be more to improve based on external pressures.
Whereas, self-acceptance is based on an internal journey, the journey to the true self, our essence and bringing that into our whole lives. Making our decisions and understandings of the world from the place of true understanding of ourselves rather than what others expect of us. When we act from a place of self-acceptance, we release the need to be accepted by everyone else. We let go of societal pressures and misconceptions and we accept ourselves and others as they are with love and understanding. This is also an ongoing journey but one in which we know ourselves more and more deeply.
That’s why yoga is about self-acceptance not self-improvement. Yoga helps us find our north star, our truest self and we understand from this place. We can then make decisions that will allow contentment to infuse our lives and treat others with understanding. We are still apart of family, culture and society, but we are not pushed around by pressures that don’t match our values. We may, in fact, improve ourselves, but this will not be according to anyone else’s direction.
If you are looking for yoga that goes beyond stretching, that allows space for freedom and connection and knowing yourself, that is where we’ll begin.
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